Fear of Failure
Fear of failure is real. It can hold you back, it can render you unable to make a decision, and it can force you into making decisions that you otherwise wouldn’t make.
We all want to be average, at the very minimum. Being average doesn’t make us stand out, it gives us average things, and helps us keep up with the average Jones’. We can hide with other average people, and if you do not meet the standard of success, you can rely on being average.
Average is great but…
If you set out for success, and you fail, you have placed yourself below average. (In your mind.) This does not need to be the case! It does not make you a loser. What makes a loser is the one who did not go for success because he was afraid of trying.
I am not afraid of failure. I have already failed at so many things, so anything from here is onwards and upwards!
…Failure is no more than the cost of tuition.
I failed at a business. When I was in my 20’s, I thought I wanted to own and run a property management company with a friend. We thought it would be a huge success, and we had great ideas for getting it off the ground. We had a few clients, and had some success, and we also had a lot of competition. It was hard work. We didn’t give it as much effort as we should have, and it just dwindled to a passing memory. I also learned that my business partner wasn’t the most ethical one to be in business with.
Relationships, love and marriage
I failed at love. At the young age of 24, I was married to a man who said he wanted all the same things as I did. I learned that we could have the same plans and dreams, but without hard work, communication and commitment, a marriage will not survive. At the end of the day, we were both not ready to do the work that we needed to do to respect each other and the marriage vows we had made.
I failed at money. After my marriage ended, I was left with a lot of debt and responsibility while I was in school, training for a new career. I was forced to make some hard decisions that would follow me around for years after. My credit history suffered, and had to learn to find other options when credit was no longer available to me.
I failed at different positions and different jobs. Sometimes they weren’t a fit, sometimes life took too much out of me, and I didn’t realize I wasn’t giving enough back.
Eventually, something will stick
With all that failure out of the way, I am ready for success! I learned how to communicate in relationships and to pick my battles. I learned average is not enough in my career, and I learned that money and money management is necessary to be the most authentic me I can be. I learned love is not just a state you feel or fall into, but is a work in progress each day. It took me years to discover who I am and how much I can do. I can truly do just about anything.
So many people would look at all my failures, and retreat to safer ground. I feel the opposite. I feel invigorated – look at all the experience I have had, and I have learned what not to do. I have learned how to push myself, and how to aim just that little bit higher. At one point in my life, I had felt as though my dreams were over, and that I would not be able to meet them.
I’m over that now.
I dream big, and I plan even bigger. I aim to be the best I can be, simply because I have a great chance of making it.
I wanted to share my story with you, because of the following truths:
1. I am not embarrassed that I have failed at so much. So what if I have not achieved all that I had set out to do? I have learned so much about setting goals, and researching and asking for information necessary to do better, and I know I can.
2. I am proud that I have tried! I can say that I have tried these things, and even though I might not have met the goals I wanted, I can say I stood apart from the averages and gave it a shot.
3. I now know I can achieve anything I want, with determination and hard work.
I have experienced success in my career – and it took time to find the right fit, appreciate the environment around me, and learn how to give and take to make it the right fit. I learned that your personal success cannot be measured through working for someone else. Your personal happiness cannot be determined or measured by someone else. You need to find what makes you happy, and do it. Work is work, and when someone employs you, you need to understand that you will not always get the pat on the back that you desire, so you need to learn self-worth elsewhere.
Time has taught me what is important in my relationships, and how to appreciate others. I took the time to understand what I value, and what I am willing to give of myself. I have boundaries and expect that of others. I have found success in a relationship, and I have learned that not succeeding in a relationship is not a reflection of only me – it’s a reflection of two people who may or may not be in the same place at the same time.
No Longer Afraid
I am no longer afraid of failure. What’s the worst that can happen? I have started over time and time again and I am strong enough to do it again. I equate failing with learning to ride a bike. I will get up again, I will mend the cuts and bruises, and I will ride without falling. I will find that stone in the road, or crack in the sidewalk, and I will fall again. I accept this, because I know I will get right back up and try again.
Life is like that. I will not let roadblocks slow me down. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and by golly, I am going to make it.
Join me on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook! I want to hear what your roadblocks are, and how we can fix them together.